We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
