Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
