its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
