i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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