he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize