apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
