Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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