I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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