I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I am midnight drunk by noon
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Randomize
