i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
