You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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