Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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