Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
