Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
