i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
