I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Boobs speak an international language.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
