K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
