cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am spending my child support on dildos
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
