What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
