You smell like stripper and shame
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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