you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize