you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
