did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
