Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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