fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
