I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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