white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
