If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
