I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
