Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
