She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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