So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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