One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
