oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
