i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
