Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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