So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
