they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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