Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
