Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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