Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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