Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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