i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
