Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
