Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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