I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
