At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
