he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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