dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he fucked my hip out of place.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize