We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I puked a lego.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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