So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
