Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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