I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
