bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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