I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize