How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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