Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize