you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
